1 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:27,239 ♪ What's on my mind 2 00:00:27,240 --> 00:00:29,719 ♪ It only takes a minute, girl 3 00:00:29,720 --> 00:00:31,719 ♪ Only takes a minute, girl 4 00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:35,279 ♪ To fall in love To fall in love 5 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:37,559 ♪ It only takes a minute, girl 6 00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:39,519 ♪ Just one minute for you 7 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:44,679 ♪ To fall in love, fall in love To fall in love... ♪ 8 00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:46,800 WHISTLING 9 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:48,920 Papa. 10 00:00:51,720 --> 00:00:54,519 ♪ It only takes a minute, girl Please 11 00:00:54,520 --> 00:00:58,599 ♪ To fall in love Just one minute 12 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:02,439 ♪ It only takes a minute, girl It only takes a minute, girl 13 00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:06,239 ♪ To fall in love To fall in love 14 00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:08,519 ♪ It only takes a minute, girl... ♪ 15 00:01:08,520 --> 00:01:11,039 Oi, oi! Oi! 16 00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:13,639 ♪ Fall in love. ♪ 17 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:15,800 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 18 00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:35,999 It's still early season. So, why's everyone else selling out? 19 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:37,759 Last Tuesday at Waikiki's, 20 00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:40,079 they were queueing round the block for Jeff Leppard. 21 00:01:40,080 --> 00:01:41,080 I'm done, mate. 22 00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:45,399 STEVE SIGHS What's going on? 23 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:46,639 Darren's leaving the band. 24 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:47,879 Oh, bloody hell! 25 00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:52,679 Benidorm's Best Tribute Act 2019, and you're just walking away? 26 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:56,279 Mate, if he wants to go, just... Oh, well, of course, you don't care. 27 00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:58,319 You've always thought you'd make a better Robbie. 28 00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:00,520 What?! Well, you have, though, haven't you? 29 00:02:01,560 --> 00:02:03,679 Yeah. Well, it's all yours, mate, 30 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:05,519 cos I'm gonna do my own Robbie Williams night. 31 00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:07,159 In Benidorm? No. 32 00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:09,599 I've got a gig at Caesars Carvery in Faliraki, 33 00:02:09,600 --> 00:02:11,399 and I'm leaving tomorrow. 34 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:13,599 If you're going, I'm gonna need that grand you owe me. 35 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:16,679 Oh, give it up, mate. You're never seeing that again. 36 00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:19,639 Dicks like Darren are only out for themselves. 37 00:02:19,640 --> 00:02:21,399 You know he's been shagging Isabella. 38 00:02:21,400 --> 00:02:22,720 Oh... 39 00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:25,599 You what? 40 00:02:25,600 --> 00:02:27,159 In fact, you can't quit 41 00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:30,599 cos I guess now it's time that you are sacked for good. 42 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:31,919 I'm sacking you. You're sacked. 43 00:02:31,920 --> 00:02:36,519 We only got that award cos I started singing Angels in the encore. 44 00:02:36,520 --> 00:02:38,039 In fact, that is mine. 45 00:02:38,040 --> 00:02:39,679 You touch that award, and I'll kill you! 46 00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:41,920 Shh, shh! What's going on? 47 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:46,399 Boys... Boys, enough with the argy-bargy. 48 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:50,199 I'm doing you a favour, lads, cos you're wasting your life out here. 49 00:02:50,200 --> 00:02:54,799 Go home, do something else before you wake up in ten years 50 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:57,239 and realise what's obvious to everyone else - 51 00:02:57,240 --> 00:03:01,000 you're just three knobheads from Yorkshire who can't sing. 52 00:03:04,520 --> 00:03:06,159 I'm actually from Runcorn. 53 00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:07,840 Oh, my God. 54 00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:12,800 SIGHS 55 00:03:27,240 --> 00:03:29,359 Darren, it's me. Open up. 56 00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:33,159 Darren, I want that award back. I'm not leaving without it. 57 00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:35,080 You know I've got a key, dickhead. 58 00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:28,600 Shell? 59 00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:41,920 What we gonna do? 60 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:46,040 Suppose we'll have to go to the beach. Oh! 61 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:43,520 Morning, Dennis. 62 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:46,959 Archie... What you doing there? 63 00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:48,839 You didn't kick me out last night. 64 00:06:48,840 --> 00:06:51,039 You weren't in here last night. I checked. 65 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:52,199 Not under the table. 66 00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:54,280 SIGHS 67 00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:12,320 DOOR OPENS 68 00:07:16,120 --> 00:07:17,320 You need help. 69 00:07:21,320 --> 00:07:23,759 Ah. You worked in a pub before? 70 00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:26,759 Have I?! I grew up in a pub. 71 00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:28,840 I've been pouring pints since I was three years old. 72 00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:32,079 Obviously, that was a lie. 73 00:07:32,080 --> 00:07:34,279 Ten euros an hour, cash in hand. 74 00:07:34,280 --> 00:07:37,399 Ten? No, no, no. Let's negotiate. OK, seven. 75 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:41,759 I am a fast learner with a diploma... in acting. 76 00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:43,519 Also a proven liar with no experience. 77 00:07:43,520 --> 00:07:45,119 Let's say 12. Nine. 78 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:46,479 Eleven? Ten. 79 00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:48,559 Perfect! But I need time off for auditions. 80 00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:49,680 Deal. 81 00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:05,439 So, anyway, I'm waiting there. 82 00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:10,079 There's a queue of beautiful women wanting to talk to me. 83 00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:13,239 Archie, I'm not coming to some over-50s singles night. 84 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:17,720 Ah, nah, reserve judgment until you've seen the photos. 85 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:22,079 Sorry, first day. What was it? 86 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:25,360 A coke. A coke. I can do that. 87 00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:31,039 Er, excuse me, is your kitchen open? 88 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:32,879 Kitchen? 89 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:35,720 Erm, I'm not sure. Dennis? 90 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:38,480 Is the kitchen open? 91 00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:44,519 Yep. Yes. 92 00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:46,119 HE SIGHS IN RELIEF 93 00:08:46,120 --> 00:08:47,640 Here. 94 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:53,960 Margarita was Miss Costa Rica 1996. 95 00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:57,039 I'm done with relationships, mate. 96 00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:59,000 Who said anything about relationships? 97 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:01,839 Everyone's only there for one thing - 98 00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:06,760 couple of hours of mutually beneficial physical intimacy. 99 00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:11,680 Longer for me... cos I'm tantric. 100 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:15,560 SIGHS 101 00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:24,080 Sorry. SHE CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY 102 00:09:25,800 --> 00:09:28,319 You look familiar. Did you work at the Vegas Lounge? 103 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:32,119 Yeah, I play piano for Non-Jovi. 104 00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:34,919 Rita? Rosa. I was a dancer. 105 00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:36,399 You remember the sexy horses? 106 00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:38,520 Didn't recognise you without your stirrups. 107 00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:42,639 How are you? You don't look great. 108 00:09:42,640 --> 00:09:44,440 Me and a mate had a falling-out. 109 00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:48,879 But you don't want me to bore you with my problems. 110 00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:50,919 OK. 111 00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:54,319 He always thought he was the talented one. 112 00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:55,440 Maybe he was. 113 00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:58,200 Maybe I was jealous. 114 00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:02,399 But this morning, they found his body floating in the pool. 115 00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:04,040 Holy shit! 116 00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:07,999 Sorry. What happened? 117 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,879 Well, I don't know. 118 00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:11,679 There must've been some kind of accident. 119 00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:13,440 Steven Evans? 120 00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:16,960 I'm arresting you for the murder of Darren Small. 121 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:21,760 What? Holy shit. 122 00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:46,879 I swear, the last time I saw him was backstage after the gig. 123 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:48,759 Yeah, where we know you had a big fight. 124 00:10:48,760 --> 00:10:53,239 CCTV shows you go into his room last night at 1:46am. 125 00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:56,239 I was drunk. I just went to get something. 126 00:10:56,240 --> 00:10:58,759 What? This award. 127 00:10:58,760 --> 00:11:01,119 It's a stupid lump of glass, but it weren't in his room, 128 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:03,239 and neither was Darren, I swear. 129 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:05,479 I was in there no longer than a minute. 130 00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:07,959 Long enough to throw someone off a balcony. 131 00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:10,000 Yeah, it only takes a minute. 132 00:11:13,280 --> 00:11:15,399 What? Why was that weird? 133 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:17,160 This way. Ah. 134 00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:23,839 This is wrong. I know him. He's actually really nice. 135 00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:25,519 It's OK, lady. We know what we're doing. 136 00:11:25,520 --> 00:11:27,239 HE SCOFFS 137 00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:30,639 You can go back inside now, Dennis. Is it "bring your kid to work" day? 138 00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:34,000 I'm 23. Got any ID? 139 00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:41,119 Jesus Ballesteros. You know her? 140 00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:44,719 Inspector Hernandez and I have a long-running difference of opinion. 141 00:11:44,720 --> 00:11:46,959 She thinks my alcohol license is dodgy. 142 00:11:46,960 --> 00:11:49,119 I think she's a complete waste of tax payers' money. 143 00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:51,160 Ha! As if you pay tax. 144 00:11:54,800 --> 00:11:56,599 We may need to take a statement. 145 00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:58,960 Let me give you my personal number. Jesus! 146 00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:03,960 HE CHUCKLES SOFTLY 147 00:12:21,360 --> 00:12:23,719 Is Craig With The Monkey a real person? 148 00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:25,839 Yes and no. 149 00:12:25,840 --> 00:12:28,360 Not his real name? Not a real monkey. 150 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:37,599 You were in the police? 151 00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:39,640 HE SIGHS 35 years. 152 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:43,839 So you should come to the hotel where the man died and investigate. 153 00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:45,919 SCOFFS 154 00:12:45,920 --> 00:12:47,719 And why would I wanna do that? 155 00:12:47,720 --> 00:12:49,879 Moral obligation. 156 00:12:49,880 --> 00:12:52,439 If we do nothing, an innocent man will go to jail. 157 00:12:52,440 --> 00:12:54,559 How can you be sure he's innocent? 158 00:12:54,560 --> 00:12:56,519 I have a gift. 159 00:12:56,520 --> 00:12:58,759 I know when people are telling the truth. 160 00:12:58,760 --> 00:12:59,760 OK. 161 00:13:00,960 --> 00:13:02,239 I don't wanna investigate 162 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:04,639 because I can't be bothered and I don't care. 163 00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:05,800 Was that true? 164 00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:10,520 Hm. 165 00:13:14,880 --> 00:13:18,160 That detective woman, you don't like her, right? 166 00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:23,119 Not really. So prove she's got the wrong man. 167 00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:26,639 Make her look really dumb. Hello? 168 00:13:26,640 --> 00:13:28,480 Serve that fella, would you? 169 00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:36,479 What the hell you doing? 170 00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:39,079 One hour, or I will throw this in the sea. 171 00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:40,759 You throw that in the sea, I'll sack you. 172 00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:43,480 You don't help, I quit AND throw this in the sea. 173 00:13:48,360 --> 00:13:49,600 SIGHS DEEPLY 174 00:13:51,160 --> 00:13:53,920 Half an hour. Estupendo! Vamos. 175 00:13:55,040 --> 00:13:56,159 What, you're coming, too? 176 00:13:56,160 --> 00:13:58,000 What do you know about investigating murders? 177 00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:01,679 Everything! 178 00:14:01,680 --> 00:14:03,159 When I was 12, I broke my leg, 179 00:14:03,160 --> 00:14:04,919 so my parents bought me a DVD player. 180 00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:07,399 You know one of those little portable ones with the screen? 181 00:14:07,400 --> 00:14:10,239 They bought it second-hand from some old English woman. 182 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:11,359 I think she died. 183 00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:14,199 Anyway, when I tried to use it, I saw there was a disc inside, 184 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:18,159 and that disc was the first-ever episode of Midsomer Murders. 185 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:19,359 Do you know that show? 186 00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:22,199 I played it, and I was thinking, "This is SO old-fashioned," 187 00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:23,399 and I was going to turn it off, 188 00:14:23,400 --> 00:14:25,919 but then Gerald Hadleigh is found beaten to death, 189 00:14:25,920 --> 00:14:28,359 and I'm like, "I have to know who did this." 190 00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:29,919 By the time my cast came off, 191 00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:33,320 I had already watched all 142 episodes. 192 00:14:34,560 --> 00:14:37,559 And after that, I took a super-deep dive into Murder, She Wrote, 193 00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:40,359 Diagnosis Murder, Touch Of Frost, Bergerac... 194 00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:42,679 This is not like on telly. 195 00:14:42,680 --> 00:14:46,119 Real police work takes hundreds of hours of gathering information. 196 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:47,999 Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You're the boss! 197 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,239 I am only here to observe. 198 00:14:50,240 --> 00:14:52,959 Look, I'll go on my own and ask some questions in the bar. 199 00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:56,359 You stay here and don't talk to anyone, OK? 200 00:14:56,360 --> 00:14:59,760 Stay here, don't talk to anyone, million percent. 201 00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:12,560 Excuse me, can I ask you a few questions? 202 00:15:20,040 --> 00:15:22,520 OK, this is big. I've got something. 203 00:15:24,120 --> 00:15:26,999 This is Shell and Tony. Call me Big Tone. 204 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:30,279 No. Tony and Shell arrived last night. 205 00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:33,599 Tell him what you told me. Well, we were delayed getting in. 206 00:15:33,600 --> 00:15:35,479 Three hours on the tarmac at Stansted. 207 00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:37,919 When we got to reception, there was no-one there. 208 00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:41,239 'Then all of a sudden...' WATER SPLASHES 209 00:15:41,240 --> 00:15:43,639 What was that splash? It was probably a seagull. 210 00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:47,279 A seagull? Yeah, one of them big ones. 211 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:50,119 A seagull? Yeah. One of them big ones. 212 00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:52,759 I said, "What's a seagull doing in the pool? 213 00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:54,239 "Should be in the sea." SHE CHUCKLES 214 00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:56,239 And now I'm thinking it's more likely that bloke. 215 00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:58,199 And what time was this? 216 00:15:58,200 --> 00:16:00,760 Quarter to one. I'd just checked my watch. 217 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,919 The police said Steve went into Darren's room at 1:46, 218 00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:06,119 a whole hour later. 219 00:16:06,120 --> 00:16:07,680 Darren was already dead. 220 00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:11,080 OK, not bad. 221 00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:13,400 Thank you. 222 00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:19,199 The killer is still out there. We can solve this case. 223 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:22,199 If you were still in the police, what would you do now? 224 00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:24,799 We'd go to the pub. After the pub. 225 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:27,680 Probably a curry. In the investigation. 226 00:16:28,800 --> 00:16:31,679 Er, probably question the band. 227 00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:33,440 Yes! Let's do that. 228 00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:38,040 SIGHS 229 00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:46,599 Say that again. 230 00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:50,079 I'm Jason, but in the band, I play Mark. 231 00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:52,559 He's Mark, but in the band, he plays Jason. 232 00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:54,119 Ah. 233 00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:56,439 And Howard. Joward. 234 00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:59,159 People could never tell the difference between Howard and Jason, 235 00:16:59,160 --> 00:17:01,639 so we just combined the two. 236 00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:02,760 Saves money. 237 00:17:04,040 --> 00:17:06,039 So, what did you guys do after the gig last night? 238 00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:08,279 I was with Isabella. She's my girlfriend. 239 00:17:08,280 --> 00:17:09,560 Ex-girlfriend. 240 00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:14,960 And you? I was in my room all night. 241 00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:18,960 And what was Darren like? 242 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:28,759 Well, he was, er... a good singer. 243 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:30,759 And he knew it. He was arrogant. 244 00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:33,399 And tight. He never got a round in. Still owes me a grand. 245 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:36,120 Yeah, you couldn't trust him. He stole his bird. 246 00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:40,840 Still, he was a good singer, though? 247 00:17:44,440 --> 00:17:45,480 Hi. 248 00:17:46,680 --> 00:17:47,959 And, er, who are you? 249 00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:50,719 I'm Sergeant Rosa Ortega. 250 00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:53,519 Inspector... Dennis. You all right? 251 00:17:53,520 --> 00:17:55,919 Inspector Dennis has just flown in 252 00:17:55,920 --> 00:17:58,239 from the UK to assist with our investigation. 253 00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:00,399 Did the airline lose your bags? 254 00:18:00,400 --> 00:18:01,640 No. Yes. 255 00:18:03,520 --> 00:18:05,560 Ah... Yeah. 256 00:18:07,520 --> 00:18:10,959 Please be discrete with your inquiries. 257 00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:16,919 I like everything to be perfect, perfect, perfect for our guests. 258 00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:18,279 This your place, is it, Carlos? 259 00:18:18,280 --> 00:18:22,560 Yes, my wife and I took over eight years ago. 260 00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:26,279 She's young enough to be his daughter. 261 00:18:26,280 --> 00:18:28,120 Well, she is my daughter. 262 00:18:30,080 --> 00:18:31,639 My wife died two years ago. 263 00:18:31,640 --> 00:18:33,919 Ah, sorry for your loss. 264 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:36,759 She's like my Puig Campana, you know? 265 00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:39,240 The mountain that looks over Benidorm. 266 00:18:40,280 --> 00:18:41,440 She's my rock. 267 00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:44,279 If you'll excuse me. 268 00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:47,160 Isabella, see that the detectives have everything they need. 269 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:49,919 How can I help you? 270 00:18:49,920 --> 00:18:51,959 Ah, it's all right. We were just leaving. 271 00:18:51,960 --> 00:18:53,999 We need a copy of the CCTV from last night 272 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,720 and a key to the crime scene. 273 00:18:56,920 --> 00:18:58,000 Sure. 274 00:19:04,760 --> 00:19:08,520 So sad to think this is the last thing someone saw before they died. 275 00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:13,439 So, what are we looking for? CAMERA CLICKS 276 00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:15,319 I'll know when I find it. 277 00:19:15,320 --> 00:19:17,319 Of course, the anomaly. 278 00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:21,319 The little thing in the room that only the detective notices. 279 00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:24,080 The missing chess piece, the two left shoes. 280 00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:27,959 In Murder, She Wrote, series five, episode 13, 281 00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:29,879 Jessica finds a feather duster. 282 00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:34,319 Everyone thinks, "Whatever," but Jessica knows it's important. 283 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:36,319 In the end, it turned out the murderer used it 284 00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:37,639 to clean the crime scene. 285 00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:39,359 There you go - the anomaly. 286 00:19:39,360 --> 00:19:41,800 TRAFFIC DRONES 287 00:19:45,120 --> 00:19:46,480 Dennis, come out here. 288 00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:53,160 Do you think someone can climb around that? 289 00:19:56,400 --> 00:19:58,720 HE SCOFFS Yeah, Spider-Man. 290 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,439 You know, I can't decide if you're more like Morse, 291 00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:03,599 because you drink too much, 292 00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:05,759 or Columbo, because of your bad clothes. 293 00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:07,719 I always thought Columbo would have a bad smell. 294 00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:10,279 Not a super-bad smell but kind of funky. 295 00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:12,919 You know? Like when you cook a potato in a microwave. 296 00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:14,400 You know, a bit funky. 297 00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:18,600 Would you like to explain? 298 00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:37,519 Your whole investigation is a joke. 299 00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:39,599 I mean, why haven't forensics been here yet? 300 00:20:39,600 --> 00:20:42,279 We're over-stretched. We don't have the... 301 00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:44,039 I don't need to explain myself to you. 302 00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:46,639 What were you doing in his room? You've got the wrong bloke. 303 00:20:46,640 --> 00:20:48,599 Did you notice the missing gin from the mini bar? 304 00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:51,719 Yes. Actually, no, but so what? 305 00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:54,519 Well, he had an all-inclusive wrist band. Why use the mini bar? 306 00:20:54,520 --> 00:20:56,599 And there was a light bulb missing from the balcony, 307 00:20:56,600 --> 00:20:58,679 and the trouser press wasn't in the wardrobe. 308 00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:00,199 So he was using the trouser press. 309 00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:03,559 Oh, look alive, Jesus. Nobody uses a trouser press. 310 00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:04,959 This is why he didn't kill Darren? 311 00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:06,799 Because someone moved the trouser press? 312 00:21:06,800 --> 00:21:09,639 No, these are what I call anomalies. 313 00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:11,359 Hey! I told you that. 314 00:21:11,360 --> 00:21:13,479 Steve didn't kill Darren 315 00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,599 because by the time he went to his room last night, 316 00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:18,319 Darren was already dead. 317 00:21:18,320 --> 00:21:20,080 Let me introduce you to Big Tone. 318 00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:25,079 A seagull? Yeah, one of them big ones. 319 00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:26,839 What time was this? 320 00:21:26,840 --> 00:21:29,519 Quarter to one. I checked my watch. Can I see the watch? 321 00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:32,279 Shell. Oh. 322 00:21:32,280 --> 00:21:33,640 He don't like a tan line. 323 00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:37,360 This is an hour slow. 324 00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:40,479 Oh, you dozy twonk. 325 00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:43,079 You forgot to wind it forward when we landed. 326 00:21:43,080 --> 00:21:47,439 This means that the sound of the body hitting the water 327 00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:52,480 coincides exactly with when we know Steve was in Darren's room. 328 00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,880 And being a detective was your actual job, yes? 329 00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:05,320 HE EXHALES DEEPLY Why did I ever listen to you? 330 00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:10,720 You've wasted everyone's time. Leave it, Michelle. 331 00:22:28,120 --> 00:22:30,480 DISTANT RADIO PLAYS 332 00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:34,239 I thought you were re-stocking the crisps. 333 00:22:34,240 --> 00:22:36,479 Crisps can wait. Look at this. 334 00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:39,399 Half an hour before Darren comes back to his room, 335 00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:42,159 this guy walks into the room next door, 514. 336 00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:46,280 Then at 1:46, here comes Steve. 337 00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:48,519 He goes in. 338 00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:51,399 One minute later, he comes out again. 339 00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:53,759 Fast forward ten minutes, 340 00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:56,679 Sombrero guy comes back out of room 514. 341 00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:59,639 I checked with the hotel, and that room was empty. 342 00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:01,119 Suspicious, yes? Yes! 343 00:23:01,120 --> 00:23:03,799 And now looks like his arm is missing. 344 00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:05,680 Perhaps he was mauled by a bear. 345 00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:11,280 Is that a roast? Where'd you get a roast? 346 00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:13,519 I had it delivered. 347 00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:15,120 HE SIGHS DEEPLY 348 00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:18,039 Rosa, take your medicine. 349 00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:20,359 The guy's guilty, and if he's not guilty, 350 00:23:20,360 --> 00:23:22,319 he's gonna need more than a knackered old copper 351 00:23:22,320 --> 00:23:23,760 and a failed actress to help him out. 352 00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:28,320 You think I'm a failed actress? 353 00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:33,759 You know what my father said to me 354 00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:35,280 when I told him I wanted to be an actor? 355 00:23:37,520 --> 00:23:40,680 He said, "I would rather you told me you were a bank robber. 356 00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:44,919 "At least then maybe you'd earn some money." 357 00:23:44,920 --> 00:23:47,759 HE SIGHS Jeez. 358 00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:49,679 I'm... I'm sorry. I... 359 00:23:49,680 --> 00:23:53,440 HE STUTTERS I didn't mean... you know... 360 00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:58,399 Ha! Failed actress? I had you. 361 00:23:58,400 --> 00:23:59,759 No, you didn't. 362 00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:02,519 Yes, I did, because I am a brilliant actress. 363 00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:05,719 But more importantly, I am a good person. 364 00:24:05,720 --> 00:24:08,319 And bad things happen when good people do nothing. 365 00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:10,479 Nothing's all you've done since you've worked here. 366 00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:11,720 Do them crisps. 367 00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:14,399 Why did you come to Benidorm, Dennis? 368 00:24:14,400 --> 00:24:16,920 To sit in your boring pub and do nothing until you die? 369 00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:21,199 Give or take. But you can solve this case. 370 00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:23,879 No, I can't. My brain's gone. 371 00:24:23,880 --> 00:24:26,959 I mean, imagine not even checking the watch. Schoolboy error. 372 00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:29,119 Do the crisps. 373 00:24:29,120 --> 00:24:31,720 Do it yourself. I quit. 374 00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:34,760 HE SIGHS 375 00:24:43,360 --> 00:24:45,839 Seriously, what's wrong with my toasties? 376 00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:48,800 Hm-hm-hm. Mmm! 377 00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:53,560 SIGHS 378 00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:10,400 Did you put on weight? 379 00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:13,440 Hi, Jackie. 380 00:25:18,840 --> 00:25:19,840 You want a funny hat? 381 00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:23,760 I'm OK, thanks. You're sad. 382 00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:26,879 Did you do badly in an audition again? 383 00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:30,559 No, I'm just feeling a bit out of my depth. 384 00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:32,199 I understand. 385 00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:34,320 I saw your showreel, Rosa. It's not very good, eh? 386 00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:36,840 Can you help me? 387 00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:43,719 I'm not talking about acting. 388 00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:46,559 I know this person who got arrested for murder. 389 00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:49,599 Ah, the Gary Barlow man. You know about that? 390 00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:50,919 I know everyone. 391 00:25:50,920 --> 00:25:53,279 He pushed Robbie Williams from the fifth floor. 392 00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:54,519 But I know he didn't. 393 00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:56,759 The police aren't even looking at the other bandmates. 394 00:25:56,760 --> 00:25:58,279 One was jealous of his new job, 395 00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:00,679 then there's this weird love triangle with Isabella. 396 00:26:00,680 --> 00:26:02,559 No, not a triangle. 397 00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:06,879 She only loved one of them. Who? Who was Isabella in love with? 398 00:26:06,880 --> 00:26:09,559 I'm afraid that is gonna cost you. 399 00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:11,000 I thought we were friends. 400 00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:13,560 No. 401 00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:37,999 Hola. No, thank you. 402 00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:40,519 PHONE RINGING 403 00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:41,720 SIGHS 404 00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:46,319 Isabella and Darren were totally in love. 405 00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:49,319 So she chucked him off the balcony because he was leaving? 406 00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:51,279 No, no, no, that's the thing. He was not leaving. 407 00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:53,319 Well, he was leaving, but he was not leaving her. 408 00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:56,519 She was going with him to Greece. 'Interesting.' 409 00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:57,959 Well, all the best with that. 410 00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:00,919 No, stop pretending you don't care. I'm coming to the pub. 411 00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:02,639 'I'm not at the pub.' 412 00:27:02,640 --> 00:27:05,879 The pub's closed tonight. 'Where are you?' 413 00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:07,439 SIGHS None of your business. 414 00:27:07,440 --> 00:27:10,639 OK. Weird. I'll see you tomorrow. 415 00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:12,239 I thought you quit? 416 00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:14,520 OK, fine. Goodbye forever. 417 00:27:16,880 --> 00:27:18,120 SIGHS 418 00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:27,079 Shall we just pretend we didn't see each other? 419 00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:31,360 I was here on police business. Oh, really... Maria? 420 00:27:33,360 --> 00:27:34,839 Look, I'm not judging. 421 00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:37,479 I'm just surprised you qualified for an over-50s thing. 422 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:39,520 I had to persuade them to let me in. 423 00:27:40,840 --> 00:27:42,480 You'll be fine. 424 00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:45,239 How was it? 425 00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:48,159 One of the worst ten minutes of my life. 426 00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:49,240 Enjoy. 427 00:27:54,640 --> 00:27:57,120 I don't suppose you fancy going for a drink? 428 00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:05,039 I was working 12-, 14-hour days. 429 00:28:05,040 --> 00:28:07,639 Tiff ended up having an affair. Tiff? 430 00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:10,279 Tiffany. Your wife was called Tiffany? 431 00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:12,919 No, Tiffany was the cat. We just drifted. 432 00:28:12,920 --> 00:28:14,479 Yes, my wife was called Tiffany. 433 00:28:14,480 --> 00:28:17,400 I can't picture you with a woman called Tiffany. 434 00:28:19,040 --> 00:28:22,719 When I think of a Tiffany, I think of someone, 435 00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:26,080 I... I don't know, attractive. 436 00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:28,640 She was. 437 00:28:29,920 --> 00:28:31,040 That was the problem. 438 00:28:34,880 --> 00:28:37,639 That what happened to you? Pressures of the job? 439 00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:39,160 I don't wanna talk to you about this. 440 00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:41,319 Divorce? 441 00:28:41,320 --> 00:28:44,360 Personal things. Feelings. 442 00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:47,719 Mm. You surprise me. 443 00:28:47,720 --> 00:28:51,719 That I don't wanna open up to a man I barely know and don't respect? 444 00:28:51,720 --> 00:28:54,200 No, that you have feelings. 445 00:28:56,520 --> 00:28:58,759 I'm not bad at my job. 446 00:28:58,760 --> 00:29:00,439 What did I say? I didn't say anything. 447 00:29:00,440 --> 00:29:03,359 You said I was a complete waste of taxpayers' money. 448 00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:04,720 Well, apart from that. 449 00:29:05,960 --> 00:29:08,600 I am a good detective, OK? The whole force has been cut back. 450 00:29:09,720 --> 00:29:13,240 Well, you've always got Jesus. Jesus? 451 00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:17,119 Yesterday, he accidentally called me "Mum". 452 00:29:17,120 --> 00:29:19,080 HE CHUCKLES 453 00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:25,039 Do you want another drink? Hm. 454 00:29:25,040 --> 00:29:28,239 I've got work tomorrow. So do I. 455 00:29:28,240 --> 00:29:31,119 If you call "sitting around drinking beer" work. 456 00:29:31,120 --> 00:29:34,240 Well, that's not fair. I often have to stand up. 457 00:29:35,480 --> 00:29:36,600 Good night. 458 00:30:23,400 --> 00:30:24,840 Why are you still here? 459 00:30:28,600 --> 00:30:29,640 'Si, ahora mismo.' 460 00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:33,120 No, no lo sabia. 461 00:30:36,760 --> 00:30:37,920 De acuerdo. 462 00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:43,000 Si, pues dile... dile que me llame. Si. 463 00:30:44,680 --> 00:30:47,440 Esta manana. Adios. 464 00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:54,840 Seriously, why are you still here? I was just getting my shoes. 465 00:30:56,360 --> 00:30:58,999 So, you've got the postmortem results back, then. 466 00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:00,119 How do you know that? 467 00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:02,160 Two injuries, one on either side of his head? 468 00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:05,640 That didn't happen on the fall. 469 00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:09,839 Must have been attacked in his room. SHE SIGHS 470 00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:11,839 I'm so glad you're here to explain this to me 471 00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:15,079 But that doesn't make sense, cos why would you kill someone 472 00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:17,200 and then throw their body over the balcony? 473 00:31:19,040 --> 00:31:21,640 Either way, you're now looking for a murder weapon. 474 00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:25,000 But Steve was empty-handed when he left the room. 475 00:31:27,240 --> 00:31:29,760 I saw the tape. How have you seen the tape? 476 00:31:31,200 --> 00:31:34,599 You need to stop interfering with this investigation right now, 477 00:31:34,600 --> 00:31:37,440 or I will arrest you for perverting the course of justice. 478 00:31:38,640 --> 00:31:41,519 There's only one pervert in here, things you got up to last night. 479 00:31:41,520 --> 00:31:43,839 That was a mistake. Nah, come on. It was fun. 480 00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:45,120 No, I mean the whole thing. 481 00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:49,760 I don't know how it happened. Please just leave. 482 00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:52,359 Fair enough. 483 00:31:52,360 --> 00:31:54,719 But if I were you, I'd have another look at that crime scene. 484 00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:56,199 The murder weapon has to be in there. 485 00:31:56,200 --> 00:31:58,000 I don't need advice from detectives like you. 486 00:31:59,320 --> 00:32:01,799 I googled you last night while you were snoring in my bed. 487 00:32:01,800 --> 00:32:03,439 Sorry about that. 488 00:32:03,440 --> 00:32:05,319 You didn't retire. 489 00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:07,199 You were fired for planting evidence. 490 00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:08,520 SIGHS SOFTLY 491 00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:12,839 I was set up. Of course. 492 00:32:12,840 --> 00:32:15,759 I was set up by my boss. 493 00:32:15,760 --> 00:32:17,759 That's who Tiff was having the affair with. 494 00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:20,520 I was a good copper. Well, now you're a barman. 495 00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:24,360 So go back to your miserable pub and leave the police work to me. 496 00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:27,120 HE SIGHS 497 00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:36,320 DOOR OPENS 498 00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:38,640 DOOR CLOSES 499 00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:45,920 You gonna eat that sausage? Yes. 500 00:32:48,120 --> 00:32:50,399 What about those beans? 501 00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:52,560 Bella, you've not touched the beans. 502 00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:04,559 Does "quit" mean something different in Spanish? 503 00:33:04,560 --> 00:33:06,479 My father says if I don't have a job, 504 00:33:06,480 --> 00:33:07,840 I have to go and live back at home. 505 00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:11,799 I thought you wanted nothing to do with the case. 506 00:33:11,800 --> 00:33:14,880 I don't. Just keeps coming back, like you. 507 00:33:16,320 --> 00:33:18,959 Is it maybe a little to do with Inspector Maria? 508 00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:21,680 I feel like there's something you're not telling me. 509 00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:25,160 Mm. There's really not. 510 00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:30,199 Darren was hit on the head twice before he went over the balcony. 511 00:33:30,200 --> 00:33:31,239 How do you know this? 512 00:33:31,240 --> 00:33:35,359 The Spanish cops think that the CCTV of Steve coming to Darren's room 513 00:33:35,360 --> 00:33:36,679 is what incriminates him, 514 00:33:36,680 --> 00:33:38,919 but I think it's what proves he didn't do it. 515 00:33:38,920 --> 00:33:42,439 He's empty-handed when he leaves, and there's nothing in the room 516 00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:44,759 that you could use as a murder weapon. 517 00:33:44,760 --> 00:33:47,239 I went back in and had a look at the crime scene this morning. 518 00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:48,280 Without me? 519 00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:52,999 There was a smell of gin on the balcony. 520 00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:54,519 The mini bar. 521 00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:56,640 Darren was killed with the missing gin bottle. 522 00:33:57,720 --> 00:33:59,239 What? No! 523 00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:01,399 How's a miniature gin bottle gonna be heavy enough 524 00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:02,839 to do that kind of damage? 525 00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:05,719 What kind of damage? Where are you getting this from? 526 00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:09,359 Whoever killed Darren is under that sombrero. 527 00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:11,640 Which is literally what I said yesterday. 528 00:34:13,240 --> 00:34:16,159 Yeah, but now I know who it is. 529 00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:18,040 Look what happens after he leaves the room. 530 00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:27,839 What killer cares about a wonky picture? 531 00:34:27,840 --> 00:34:32,040 One that likes everything to be perfect, perfect, perfect. 532 00:34:46,600 --> 00:34:48,239 I have called the police. 533 00:34:48,240 --> 00:34:50,879 The real police. 534 00:34:50,880 --> 00:34:53,719 Well, I guess one of us are getting arrested, then. 535 00:34:53,720 --> 00:34:55,359 Isabella, when did you tell your father 536 00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:56,880 you were leaving for good with Darren? 537 00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:01,399 The night before we were meant to leave. 538 00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:03,519 Papa. Que? 539 00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:10,200 ♪ Fall in love... ♪ 540 00:35:11,360 --> 00:35:13,720 I was too afraid to tell him sooner. 541 00:35:16,680 --> 00:35:20,439 You come into my hotel, and you say such disgusting things? 542 00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:22,239 How did I kill Darren? 543 00:35:22,240 --> 00:35:24,999 Gotta be honest, I'm not a hundred percent. 544 00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:26,559 Well, good luck. 545 00:35:26,560 --> 00:35:29,319 You have two minutes until the police arrive to figure it out. 546 00:35:29,320 --> 00:35:30,600 Isabella, come now. 547 00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:33,080 Vamos. 548 00:35:35,400 --> 00:35:37,359 You should probably go. 549 00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:40,319 Your father's not gonna be best pleased if you get arrested. 550 00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:42,680 I think that's why I want to stay. HE SIGHS DEEPLY 551 00:35:43,880 --> 00:35:46,599 You know what they call this? This is the brick wall. 552 00:35:46,600 --> 00:35:48,879 The cops are sure they have their man, 553 00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:50,519 but the crime seems impossible to solve 554 00:35:50,520 --> 00:35:52,519 and it looks like he's going to get away with it. 555 00:35:52,520 --> 00:35:54,439 But it's OK because you know what comes next? 556 00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:56,599 The eureka moment. 557 00:35:56,600 --> 00:35:59,359 In Miss Marple, series one, episode five, 558 00:35:59,360 --> 00:36:02,240 Colonel Lucius Protheroe is found dead in the vicarage. 559 00:36:03,560 --> 00:36:06,840 And it turns out the second gunshot was fake. 560 00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:10,560 What is it? What are you staring at? 561 00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:18,639 It's happening? You're having the eureka moment? 562 00:36:18,640 --> 00:36:20,280 Not with you banging on, I'm not. 563 00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:23,079 I warned you. 564 00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:25,839 I told you what would happen. You going down. 565 00:36:25,840 --> 00:36:29,039 Shut up, Jesus. Dennis is about to solve the case. 566 00:36:29,040 --> 00:36:31,839 Right? Mm, I'd say I'm 50-50. 567 00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:34,559 Jesus... Wait, wait, wait! 568 00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:36,239 Look... 569 00:36:36,240 --> 00:36:39,639 Carlos called Isabella his rock. 570 00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:42,639 She's like my Puig Campana, you know? 571 00:36:42,640 --> 00:36:44,760 The mountain that looks over Benidorm. 572 00:36:45,960 --> 00:36:47,759 She's my rock. 573 00:36:47,760 --> 00:36:50,519 He couldn't let her go, especially not with a bloke like Darren. 574 00:36:50,520 --> 00:36:54,119 Lucky for him, he finds Steve and Darren arguing earlier, 575 00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:57,279 which presents him with both a suspect and a weapon. 576 00:36:57,280 --> 00:36:59,599 You touch that award, and I'll kill you! 577 00:36:59,600 --> 00:37:01,199 This is pure speculation. 578 00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:03,439 You think this is flimsy? I'm just getting started. 579 00:37:03,440 --> 00:37:04,480 Keep going. 580 00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:07,119 Carlos goes up to fifth floor. 581 00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:10,519 He can't switch the CCTV off because it would look suspicious, 582 00:37:10,520 --> 00:37:14,600 but earlier, he finds a disguise. 583 00:37:19,160 --> 00:37:20,760 That's who was on the CCTV. 584 00:37:22,720 --> 00:37:24,719 This man goes into the room next door. 585 00:37:24,720 --> 00:37:27,400 It's a misdirect. Right? 586 00:37:29,240 --> 00:37:31,760 So how does he get between rooms? I'll show you. 587 00:37:32,800 --> 00:37:36,200 What is happening? I think this is the denouement. 588 00:37:37,560 --> 00:37:39,240 Look at the skirting here. 589 00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:44,559 The whole room is made out of evenly cut pieces, apart from this bit. 590 00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:45,959 Why cut it like that? 591 00:37:45,960 --> 00:37:48,479 Why don't you just save everyone's time and tell us? 592 00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:50,119 Cos the hotel's just been refurbished, 593 00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:53,159 and the wardrobe used to be here. 594 00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:55,039 OK. Where are you going with this? 595 00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:57,280 Next door. Give me your master key. 596 00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:00,199 Right. 597 00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:02,839 I was thinking about the magician, 598 00:38:02,840 --> 00:38:05,479 the Amazing Keith and His Secret Door. 599 00:38:05,480 --> 00:38:06,559 DOOR CLOSES 600 00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:10,519 There's always some compartment or a panel or something. 601 00:38:10,520 --> 00:38:11,679 NEIGHBOURING DOOR OPENS 602 00:38:11,680 --> 00:38:15,159 And after the hotel was refurbished, it was adults only. 603 00:38:15,160 --> 00:38:17,319 There's no families staying. 604 00:38:17,320 --> 00:38:19,000 No families means you don't need any... 605 00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:22,440 Ta-da! 606 00:38:23,880 --> 00:38:25,759 EXHALES DEEPLY ...interconnecting rooms. 607 00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:27,959 That's good. That's really good. 608 00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:29,519 They don't even bother to brick it up. 609 00:38:29,520 --> 00:38:33,239 They just move the wardrobe from here and put it in front of it. 610 00:38:33,240 --> 00:38:36,999 But this would mean Carlos was in the room when Steve came in. 611 00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:38,119 Almost. 612 00:38:38,120 --> 00:38:41,439 Almost? This is total bullshit. 613 00:38:41,440 --> 00:38:44,159 You let yourself into room 514 next door, 614 00:38:44,160 --> 00:38:46,519 took off your poncho and got into the wardrobe, 615 00:38:46,520 --> 00:38:48,319 where you then popped out the wee plugs 616 00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:49,719 that hold the back panel in place, 617 00:38:49,720 --> 00:38:51,599 taking you through into Darren's room. 618 00:38:51,600 --> 00:38:54,079 You think he just jumped him and killed him? 619 00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:57,640 Darren was a big, muscly guy, and Carlos is kind of puny. 620 00:38:59,680 --> 00:39:01,359 Good point well made, Jesus. 621 00:39:01,360 --> 00:39:03,679 There was no light bulb on the balcony 622 00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:05,320 because Carlos took it out. 623 00:39:06,360 --> 00:39:08,039 When Darren got back, he went outside 624 00:39:08,040 --> 00:39:10,000 and was distracted by the light... 625 00:39:15,080 --> 00:39:17,999 ...allowing him to use the element of surprise. 626 00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:19,959 You hit him once to knock him out... 627 00:39:19,960 --> 00:39:21,239 THUD, DARREN GROANS 628 00:39:21,240 --> 00:39:23,999 ...and a second time to kill him. THUD 629 00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:27,319 Anyone could have been on their balcony and been none the wiser. 630 00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:29,919 The whole thing was done in near silence. 631 00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:32,119 Silent but deadly. 632 00:39:32,120 --> 00:39:35,600 Course you didn't bank on Steve arriving at exactly that moment. 633 00:39:36,640 --> 00:39:37,839 Darren, it's me. Open up. 634 00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:41,999 Darren, I want that award back. I'm not leaving without it. 635 00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:44,640 'You were about to be found next to a dead body.' 636 00:39:47,160 --> 00:39:49,359 You know I've got a key, dickhead. 637 00:39:49,360 --> 00:39:51,079 You did the only thing you could think of. 638 00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:53,039 You threw Darren's body over the balcony. 639 00:39:53,040 --> 00:39:54,159 WATER SPLASHING 640 00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:56,559 What was that splash? It was probably a seagull. 641 00:39:56,560 --> 00:39:59,199 So when Steve comes out, he looks around, 642 00:39:59,200 --> 00:40:01,799 sees nothing and leaves. 643 00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:04,159 You clean your finger prints from the murder scene 644 00:40:04,160 --> 00:40:07,519 using the gin from the mini-bar, go back through the wardrobe... 645 00:40:07,520 --> 00:40:09,559 Like Aslan the Lion. 646 00:40:09,560 --> 00:40:11,760 Yeah, like Aslan the Lion. 647 00:40:14,480 --> 00:40:17,999 ...forgetting to replace the trouser press. 648 00:40:18,000 --> 00:40:21,039 You then put your disguise back on and left the way you came, 649 00:40:21,040 --> 00:40:24,479 clutching the award, the murder weapon, 650 00:40:24,480 --> 00:40:26,200 under your poncho. 651 00:40:28,720 --> 00:40:30,199 I'm guessing by the look on your face 652 00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:31,799 I've pretty much nailed that, eh? 653 00:40:31,800 --> 00:40:32,920 Papa? 654 00:40:42,760 --> 00:40:44,840 ISABELLA BREATHES HEAVILY 655 00:41:06,640 --> 00:41:08,920 ISABELLA SNIFFLES, SOBS 656 00:41:18,400 --> 00:41:21,920 That was by far the luckiest piece of police work I have ever seen. 657 00:41:23,240 --> 00:41:26,559 And all done without planting a single piece of evidence. 658 00:41:26,560 --> 00:41:28,519 I meant what I said. I was a good detective. 659 00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:30,399 I am a good detective. 660 00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:32,799 So don't ever interfere in police business again. 661 00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:33,880 Not gonna. 662 00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:37,439 Or tell anyone about what happened last night. 663 00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:39,959 I won't make that mistake ever again. 664 00:41:39,960 --> 00:41:41,119 Me neither. 665 00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:43,719 I mean it. You tell anyone, and... 666 00:41:43,720 --> 00:41:47,359 Yeah, yeah, you'll arrest me and shut down my miserable little pub. 667 00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:49,959 I was going to say "depressing little pub". 668 00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:52,520 Hm, well, can't be right every time. 669 00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:00,760 Wow! JESUS CLEARS THROAT 670 00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:04,919 Maybe after, you and me could go get a little drink somewhere? 671 00:42:04,920 --> 00:42:06,680 After what, puberty? 672 00:42:07,800 --> 00:42:09,679 CLEARS THROAT 673 00:42:09,680 --> 00:42:11,919 HE CHUCKLES SOFTLY 674 00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:14,719 That was perfect - the anomaly, the brick wall, 675 00:42:14,720 --> 00:42:18,479 classic eureka moment, and all solved in under two days. 676 00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:20,240 Yeah. That's never happened before. 677 00:42:23,080 --> 00:42:25,039 You've never had me as a partner before. 678 00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:28,000 We're not partners. OK, partner. 679 00:42:29,240 --> 00:42:31,559 You're not my partner. OK, partner. 680 00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:32,800 HE SIGHS 681 00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:36,999 We have a celebrity in the Laughter Lounge tonight, 682 00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:38,679 Vince Starky. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 683 00:42:38,680 --> 00:42:39,759 What you doing here? 684 00:42:39,760 --> 00:42:42,119 Five sell-out nights at The Benidorm Palace apparently. 685 00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:43,359 Hey-hey! 686 00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:45,359 There's a lot of pressure on this case, 687 00:42:45,360 --> 00:42:46,759 and I have no detectives. 688 00:42:46,760 --> 00:42:50,279 We've got a new case? That is hilarious. 689 00:42:50,280 --> 00:42:51,719 So, this guy is a comedian? 690 00:42:51,720 --> 00:42:53,479 It was meant to be the start of his comeback. 691 00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:56,119 We should speak to Jackie. JACKIE SIGHS 692 00:42:56,120 --> 00:42:58,359 Apparently, you know the word on the street. What? 693 00:42:58,360 --> 00:42:59,519 What is it? What's going on? 694 00:42:59,520 --> 00:43:01,719 I just found the murder weapon. 695 00:43:01,720 --> 00:43:03,199 What a bloody mess. 696 00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:04,600 There's something else going on.